


Cougar Bait

by Midori_Hime



Category: Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02, Nana
Genre: Cross Over, F/M, Humor, Music, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2012-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-22 14:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midori_Hime/pseuds/Midori_Hime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamato is cougar bait. Taichi tries to explain. Crack!fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Crack!fic from the thought that Yamato and Reira (from NANA) would be a good pairing. You've been warned.

"You know Yamato, I was in a band when I was your age."  
"Really? You never said... What'd you play?"  
"Bass. We were pretty cool." Rolling his eyes at his dad's cockiness, the blonde continued channel surfing.  _A_ _band_ _would_ _be_ _pretty_ _cool..._

"Hey dad."  
"Yeah kid?"  
"Do you still have your old guitar?"

"A chip off the ol' block! We'll make you pro in no time!" In a second, Hiroaki was up and out of his seat, darting to his room to find the elusive instrument. Sighing, Yamato wondered just what he'd gotten himself into.

:.:

"You know bitches love guitars, right?"  
"Akira... You're an idiot, you know that, right?"  
"Garage bands are so much fun! Let's get started!"  
"None of us have a garage, Takashi. And that's a stupid name. We're a teenage band, hoping to get popular, but if we don't, it doesn't matter because we'll-"  
"Get the girls!"  
"Shut up Akira."

:.:

"You know bitches love guitars, right Yamato?"  
"Why does everyone think I'm being a guitarist just to hook up?" Hikari sighed, watching the blonde attempt to strangle her brother who was laughing unattractively.  
"I think you'll do great Yamato. You're really passionate about your music, so don't worry about idiots like Tai." Ignoring Tai's protests, Yamato thanked the younger brunette until Taichi decided to put his foot in his mouth again.

"I'm only saying it because you're cougar bait."

Silence reigned in the Yagami household, a rare sight that needed to be seen to be believed. Both Hikari and Yamato were incredibly confused and exchanged looks, but when they glanced back at Taichi, they saw he was deadly serious.

"Cougar bait..?"  
"What on earth are you talking about Taichi?"  
Sighing, Tai told the two to sit and get comfortable, which they did. Then, he started his explanation. "Once upon a time-"

" _Taichi_ -"

"Yeah yeah! God, lighten up a bit, would ya blondie?" Slightly intimidated by the glare being sent his way, the leader of the Chosen Children cleared his throat and started again. "Basically, you, Ishida Yamato, are cougar bait. Why? Looks for starters. 'But that gets all the girls!' You say. I agree, but you still are cougar bait, and I have the proof!"

"Want to tell me then, or are you going to keep acting retarded?"

"Remember when we came back from the Digital World, to find Hikari?" The blonde nodded in response. "Remember when we spent all our money on food, and had to hitchhike?"  
"Mmmhmm." The new bassist had an idea where this was going, but if it wasn't going where he thought it was going, he certainly didn't want to give his friend any more stupid ideas.  
"Remember how we all failed? Well, Mimi and Sora didn't, but that's cuz that guy was a creeper. But! You succeeded too! That babe in the car totally tried to pick you up! And being the blonde you are, said no! What the hell man! Whhhhy!"

"She was a million years older than me!"

"EXACTLY! COUGAR! COUUUUGAAARRR!" At this point, Taichi started making more comparisons, and he was probably lucky Yamato was there to cover Hikari's ears otherwise he would have been in a huge amount of trouble later.

:.:

"Yamato~!"  
"Oh god, please no..." A swift glomp later and Ishida Yamato was being clung to like white on rice by a Miss Motomiya Jun.  
"Miss me~?" Trying to act nice while telling the girl to piss off wasn't easy at the best of times. Having her clinging around his neck also didn't make him feel any safer. Taichi mouthing 'coooooouuuugggggaaaarrrrrr' with Hikari trying to stifle her giggles didn't exactly put him in a better mood either.

_Honestly,_ _what_ _good_ _were_ _friends_ _if_ _they_ _didn_ _'_ _t_ _help_ _you_ _from_ _nutty_ _fans?_

:.:

"Ohmigod!"  
"Did you see him!"  
"Ishida Yamato~!"  
"Sooooo hoooot!"

If he didn't have blonde hair (how on earth did that happen anyway? His parents both had darker hair and he was Japanese damn it!) he'd have kept his head down and tried to blend into the crowds. Obviously, Fate was a bitch (or the goddess of cougars, according to Taichi) and it seemed that every time he found a crowd to blend into, they'd all disappear, leaving him exposed to numerous eyes and squees.

He knew he should have gone to America study! That was the trend nowadays anyway, right? At least he wouldn't have stuck out so much there... But no, he decided to study at Kansai Gaidai. Classes weren't too bad and the campus was quite nice too. As yet another girl pointed him out loudly to all her girlfriends, Yamato cursed Yutaka for moving away from Odaiba.  _Stupid_ _hair,_ _stupid_ _Yutaka,_ _stupid_ _girls-_ At the point, what seemed to be a lecturer winked at him-  _stupid_ _cougars!_


	2. Chapter 2

"It's in your blood."  
"What is?"

"Being cougar bait." Amidst Takeru snorting his drink out of his nose in hysteric laughter and his brother's "I AM NOT COUGAR BAIT!" their uncle continued to explain that their mother was a cougar and his father had fallen prey to her womanly wiles. Needless to say, Natsuko heard and their repenting uncle was forced to do the dishes before he could tend to the wound she'd inflicted him with.

:.:

"Wanna go to the zoo?"  
"You hate the zoo."

"They have red pandas!" Miyako agreed with how cute they were and, seeing Hikari's enthusiasm, Takeru and Daisuke instantly offered to take the brunette to see the fluffy creatures.

"I was actually kinda more interested in the cougars..."

It goes without saying that Taichi showed up to soccer practice the next day with a black eye. While his coach ragged him for not showing proper behaviour and to be more respectful (without even hearing the brunette's story) and made him do extra training, Taichi knew it was an awesome call on his part and would gladly stir the blonde up again.

:.:

It hadn't been the way he'd planned, but he had ended up studying in the US of A. Granted, it was only for a year, but it was a nice change. The band had been becoming more and more popular, and by transferring their studies to America, not only could they grasp the english language better, but they could learn more about the music scene too.

"And get the girls!"  
"Whatever Akira..."  
"You're still an idiot Akira. You know that, right?"

They'd already managed to score an opening act for a major band. Trapnest had heard about them, and since the members were all Japanese, they'd thought the Wolves should be their opening act for their new tour. With a fanbase as big as Trapnest's, they would have been stupid to refuse. The only thing that bothered Yamato was Reira...

It's not that he didn't like her or anything, far from it really. She was pretty, kind and an amazing singer. The only thing wrong was that she was a certified cougar...  _Fate_ _is_ _such_ _a_ _bitch..._

:.:

"A toast! To our amazing Yama-sama coming back home~!" Eye twitching and blush spreading down his neck, Yamato attempted to smile at Jun's idea of a toast.  
"But seriously, how was  _America_?" Even if he hadn't known Taichi for close to ten years now, he still would have known that by 'America' his former leader meant 'girls'. Daisuke badly hidden sniggering only supported that.  
Ignoring the two idiots, Yamato started talking about their concerts and experiences. He knew it was going to be a tough task, but the blonde decided to hopefully keep that night free of all mentions of cougars.

:.:

"WHAT?"  
"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING SOONER?"  
"Would you guys shut up? We're trying to watch a movie here!"  
"Meems, you're all up on the gossip, why didn't you tell us Yamato had a girlfriend?"  
"Say what! Details, hun!"  
"Oh for god's sake, leave me alone and watch your stupid movie!"

:.:

"Reira, huh?"  
"What?"  
"I went through your phone. If you aren't going to tell us anything, I'll find out the information I need by myself."  
"You know that's slightly creepy, right Mimi?"  
"So who is Reira?"  
"Reira is Reira."

It wasn't until Yamato's phone broke a week later and he replaced it that Mimi figured out who Reira was.

"Your phones ringing onii-chan!"  
"Is it Reira?" Miyako had been just as eager to find out who the mystery woman was but 'Reira' didn't give her much to search for.  
"Oh, you got a picture phone? How cool onii-chan!" And like lightening, Mimi and Miyako had snatched the mobile from the younger blonde.  
"OH MY GOD! REIRA IS REIRA!"

Mimi's shriek had confused everyone else but Yamato had only sighed. Why on earth had he thought that photo id was a good idea? Miyako had grabbed the phone, determined to remember the mysterious woman who held her mentor's interest.

"Autograph! I want her autograph! !"  
"Alright, alright! Get off me already!"

When the pinkette had calmed down, Jyou asked the question on everyone's lips.

"Um, who exactly is this 'Reira'?"

Mimi went into a rant of how she was the most gorgeous and talented and amazing singer  _ever_  and she was in a  _totally_ _cool_ band called Trapnest and Takumi was  _amazingly_ _hot_  which Yamato interrupted with a simple "She's in a band we played for. They're pretty awesome."

Most of the group had tuned out to Mimi's rant, but her ending caught everyone's attention.

"She's also a cougar!"

"MIMI!"


	3. Chapter 3

A month later, Trapnest had announced an international tour. The tour would end in Japan, Odaiba to be specific. Needless to say, Mimi had hounded Yamato for an autograph and Takeru had demanded to meet his brother's girlfriend. Taichi and Daisuke wanted to see what category of cougar she fell into (was she an old hag? Looking for money? Party girl wanting a boy toy?) whereas the others were just happy to meet someone Yamato cared about.

"Everyone, this is my girlfriend, Reira." Yamato was holding her hand, looking slightly annoyed at his friends eagerness, while Reira smiled sweetly.

"It's lovely to meet you all~ My name is Serizawa Reira. I hope we can get along well~"

Reira... didn't really look like a cougar... In fact, she looked younger than Yamato. Sora hit the two leaders for immediately thinking of (and muttering about) botox and plastic surgery, reminding them that it was Mimi who had said she was a cougar, not Yamato.

But in any case, she was well received by the close nit group. Pretty and kind and Mimi's number one female artist, she fit in pretty well. Giving them all free front-row tickets to Trapnest's final show helped too, of course.

:.:

Reira had modeled, dodged awkward and personal interview questions, lived her life in the media's light and sung in front of thousands of impressionable and critical people: she could deal with tough situations. However, this was a different type of different. The public was irrelevant - her image meant nothing here. Yet it meant everything at the same time: she needed to look nice and be well behaved and polite, yet in a different way to the way she did for her fans and managers. It was a rather odd contradiction, wasn't it?

Meeting the friends was one thing, but meeting the parents was an entirely different matter, one that was incredibly important at that. While technically it was true, she didn't particularly like being called a cougar. Well, it depended on the situation: Takumi said it in order to make her feel guilty and to make her focus on the band, whereas Naoki had said it as a fun joke which she had enjoyed. What Yamato's parents would think was yet to be known.

It wasn't like it was a huge deal really (the media would obviously take the opposite view). Yamato was an adult and heading for twenty one, he could make his own decisions without anyone telling him what to do. She was the same, but she was heading towards... Well, a number beginning with three that she didn't like saying because it made her feel like a hag!

But she wasn't going to let that get to her! She could handle this and much much more! No one was going to impress Yamato's parents like she was! She was Serizawa Reira, a singing princess - this would be a piece of cake! Sending a wink to her mirrored reflection, the young woman stood, collected her bag on the bed and almost made it to the front door before tripping.

Ren helped her up while Takumi sent some remark or another her way. Pulling herself together, Reira shoved on her shoes, doubled checked her makeup and hair were still fine in the entrance hall's stylish mirror (in which Naoki joined her) before leaving. It was when she was in the car and driving that her hands decided to shake.

Apparently, this wasn't going to be such a piece of cake. Why? It's not like she hadn't dated guys or met their parents before! Maybe it was true, what her Facebook horoscope had said - maybe this was true love! Her and Yamato were connected by Fate's red string!

For some reason, that made her shiver slightly. Tightening the bow of her short faux-fur jacket, Reira stared out the window, watching Odaiba fly past. ...The cougar confidence could wait until she arrived at Yamato's apartment, right?


	4. Chapter 4

Dinner had been... An interesting affair. Between the food somehow melting into an indescribable mess, Reira had fell on her face not two seconds after entering the apartment. Yamato tried to keep the discussion away from topics that Takeru was likely to pass along (either because they interested him or in some kind of attempt to blackmail his brother). Unfortunately, that didn't go too well, leading to less kinda words than the original discussion would have given.

All in all, however, the night was a success. Reira of course was naturally cute and charming not to mention rich, successful and talented. They shared the same hobbies and goals, so there was really nothing his parents could fault her on. Despite the fact dinner had gone well, the fact that their distance was going to be long distance had weighed heavily on the evening, even though it had never been brought up directly.

"What do you expect? I bet he's with a different girl when you're not around."  
"Shut up Takumi!"  
"Hey now, that's not called for-"

The Ishida household had been clumsy and loud, but so very real and warm. But what did Trapnest leave her with? Takumi enjoyed nothing except bringing her down, despite how much he said they were like siblings.  _How did they really feel?_

She'd had these types of thoughts before. Did she love Yamato enough to leave the band, a band that was becoming more and more broken and splintered by the day, the same band who had been her family for years on end? What was the right thing to do? Did she mean enough to Yamato to consider leaving Japan for good? His band was his livelihood after all and it'd be stupid for him to merely play an instrument when, for his entire (though admittedly short) career, he'd been the centre of every show.

Sighing, she went back to her room. Every time she got an answer, ten new questions would appear. What was a girl to do?


	5. Chapter 5

The curtains had closed after their encore, fans still shouting and waving their towels, moving wildly and sweating heavily. They had their private after party with a few of the press and important music people along with Yamato and his friends. Soon, they ditched their elders, spending what was rest of the night out, clubbing well into the morning.

Soon, they were parting ways and not long after that, Trapnest was at the airport, heading back to America. She kept in touch with Yamato often and they both promised that if they ever found someone else, they were allowed to break up - long distance relationships weren't easy in the upkeep department after all.

A year came and went. Emails were exchanged and Takumi kept up his repertoire of insults. But the more she was away from the blonde, the more she wanted to be with him - and Takumi's bitchiness just gave her more reason to leave. Not that it would be unreasonable to do so - both her and Yamato were talented and charisimatic enough by themselves without needing a band; hell, they could even become a professional duet! And maybe when they had kids, they could be a family band! She chortled quietly, holding her warm cup of coffee tighter, hoping the full cup wouldn't spill.

She knew Yamato was fighting the same feelings. He didn't say so himself of course; rather, she'd kept in touch with the rest of his family as well as him. Natsuki fretted over her slightly aloof son a lot, so Reira passing on information was more than appreciated. The duo talked often about the future, if there actually was a possibility of one at all.

Though they needn't have worried. Takumi, despite all of his horrible words and smart remarks, had set their entire future up for them while ruining his own. His foolings around with Nana had led to Trapnest's downfall, even though their songs still sold and they were still ridiculously popular. But that was half of the problem - their popularity was half based on scandal, rather than purely their talent.

While it hadn't been on the note she'd hoped for, Reira left for Japan, meeting Yamato with only two suitcases and her carry on.

"Where's the rest?" A smile, a hug and a brief laugh from Tai and a snort from Mimi.

"Being shipped. I hope you've got an apartment for us - the one you share with you're dad isn't going to house all of my shoes, let alone anything else!"

The blonde tripped as Tai and Mimi both started roaring with laughter. The girls linked arms, walking ahead as Tai helped Yamato with the bags.

"While she may have dug her claws in, it's the type of digging when a cat is getting comfortable, rather than trying to maul your face off. Much better than all the others who've found you. Aren't you lucky you picked a nice cougar?"

"Taichi!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This originally had a far more serious storyline, which was sort of hinted at, but which I didn't think I was able to write. Maybe another time, but for now, that is the end of Cougar Bait!


End file.
